Me.....Homesick???

So I never thought I would never say the words but after re-reading yesterdays post, I have come to the conclusion that yes indeed, i suffer from a large case of homesickness. My hoosier heart is telling me so. I went to look at more homes today and I am hving such a hard time grasping how different they are here on the east coast and how none of them remind me of home.

I spoke with my mother yesterday as well and she knew right off the bat that I was homesick the a big fat "I told you so" came right out of her mouth. lol. If you are family reading this then you know that is the typical thing of my mother to say. Its amazing how she always knows my thoughts before I even tell her and she does know me better than anyone. This is sometimes a good thing, as well as a bad thing. She just doesn't want me to give up everything I worked so hard for in college and she doesn't want me to give up my dream of having a family around my family. It's hard trying to adapt when I know that she misses me. Randall has not taken my moving very well at all. He called me very upset and wished I would come home. It's funny how a 16 year old who thinks he is all grown up becomes a little kid agian when he misses his sister. :)

So what do I do. I hate it when people around me say "oh it will get better", or "you will get used to it". Honestly I have heard it all. lol. I need my time and space and in the meantime, if i need a little taste of home then so be it. Yesterday I realized for the first time that sometimes when I'm sad i go to visit my grandfather's grave and just sit and talk to him or pray and I realized that i can't do that now. It was kind of a security blanket ripped away from me.

So now I sit here trying not to feel sorry for myself because Pittsburgh isn't "that" bad of a city I guess. lol. Who knows. I used to think Indiana was such a boring place and i have friends that still do think that. I hope one day they realize that it si a great place to raise kids and truly does have it's finer points. Like I said, who would of thought I would be homesick for it? Not me that for sure, but boy am I eating my words now. :(

I have my membership confirmation at Emmanuel next Sunday the 26th and I am sooo looking forward to going home. yes i have been home the last 3 weekends in a row and this is my first weekend here in PA, but everytime we went home it was so busy and caotic, and I never got to visit long enough with my friends and family. 2 days goes by so fast.

One thing that has helped me, is my faith. When I start getting down i visit the church.
I love my church back home and i love my Lutheran faith. It is what keeps me going. I have found a few good churches here as well but i want to wait to make a decision on which one to attend after we move. I can't tell you how much I look foward to Sundays now. i am so happy that Andrew and I will be married at Emmanuel. We met with our pastor last sunday and Andrew really likes him. Pastor Tom has also helped me dealing with being so far away.

So I guess that now i just have to keep trying to adjust. (sigh) It's not so easy :(